A Changed Me

Sitting in the typical row of black chairs that face another row of black chairs which also leans onto another row of black chairs. So many black chairs, so little black faces, so many funny accents. But I’m the funny one. I am still struggling to leave behind the four social networks I follow. Does this make me a product of my generation? Maybe. I’m not even ashamed of it. In my head I say that I’m well connected, yet my followers and ‘friends’ barely know me. How can I actually have 978 friends as Facebook declares? So lies the real struggle, the finding of my true self. Ha, isn’t that what we all are trying to do? I’m pretty sure that never ends. Right now, I am distracted I had a thought, but now I forget where I was headed. Maybe I’m too dependent on music. I couldn’t go to sleep on the slightly more comfortable ride to London from Boston with Justin Timberlake's 20/20 Experience. Wow, I’m in London, so strange. I’m pretty sure I have an ear infection. I keep digressing. That’s where I am, in a land of Warm Bodies, Virgin Airlines, Frank Ocean, and Alicia Keys. In a teenage mind, a growing mind, a student's mind. That's where I am now, in a room with walls lined with previous judgements, experiences and opinions. The room is yet to be filled, the area is still empty. I'm ready to know more. I leave behind the jokes. No, I will not be a sour patch with no sense of humor on this trip, but I seem to laugh at everything. When I’m nervous, I laugh. When I’m afraid, I’ll smile, trying to hide the fright. When I’m upset, I’ll smirk to make it seem less important. But this won’t help me, and laughter is too universal to be used in a sarcastic manner. I leave behind my eagerness to be heard. I bring with me my desire to listen.