Can't you hear my heartbeat?
I realized that I don’t think much. I only noticed this after probably the 8th or 9th group discussion of which we held last night. My eyes were glued attentively on each and every speaker and every now and then I would laugh on the inside and throw out a little smile if I found something that the presenter said even mildly amusing. Not once would I think of something worthy enough to either progress the discussion or muddle the conversation into an even more befuddled one (See I did it again, I laughed at something as simple as muddle and befuddle rhyming together). Even when deciding what food to order, I usually just sit around and wait until someone propagates their own preference. Yesterday morning, when I was at the school that I am volunteering at with the Riverside kids, we spoke to the principal in order to discover the best method of attempting to fix the problems that they have with their lavatories. I can say a total of four sentences in Hindi including “My name is Jonathan” and “I don’t speak Hindi” so her words meant nothing to me but the beauty and the crispness of her native language seemed so attractive. The sentences flowed from her mouth like lava flowing down a mountainside, hardening at the cooler parts and creating a permanent influence. The foreign words seemed so familiar. I even caught myself nodding at the period of each of her sentences as if I wasn’t just understanding what she was saying, but also attempting to communicate my own feelings to her despite the fact that I had no idea what she was talking about. I will admit that I do think, in fact, I think to myself quite a lot, but I just love to listen even more. When I play my cello, I have the best time in the world, but laying down on my school bed and blasting Beach House, music that is so powerful to me that I dream that I could die to it, is something that is just so ineffable. In listening, I find understanding, which I’m sure pretty much everyone else does, but to me listening feels like something more. With things such as meditation and interactions with those of different cultures and languages, this trip supplies with chances to blind myself from all of my senses but the best one.