Second-guessing

Splashes, to ripples, and then another, an endless pattern of infinite possibilities, closely I looked for the rock now hidden underneath the depths of the water, irretrievable. Hugged by the envelopes of splashes, 1,2,3, it descended beneath the murky water. Deepening, sinking, swallowed. My toes crinkled at the brink of the shore, crunching the wet sand stuck to my feet. Bending down I scooped the water in my hands searching for the rock in the shallows of my feet. Helplessly, I searched trying to dig out the water, but drop-by-drop, the water melted through my hands back into its carrier, an untold abyss, submissive to the bottomless home of the pond. Lying, somewhere, was the rock I had just thrown, but it was lost to me. A quake of vulnerability sunk deep into my heart. Quivering, my eyes wavered between my realities. Awakened to the security of the ruffles of bed sheets covering me, I laid there unable to distinguish the safeties of the world around me.

                  “How can one seek Truth or cherish Love without fearlessness?”-Ghandi

Second-guessing, that's my best skill, unable to let go of my skepticism I've built relationships off of mistrust. My mind racing, calculating what ifs, fearful of being hurt, I become my doubts. Burdened by my own thoughts I have built a wall to protect myself from misguidance. Fears have clouded my judgment of Truth. And that has made Love a half-hearted affair.  

Fearlessness is confidence in the world. Faith in yourself. And faith in others.

My work in progress has been learning to let my guard down, becoming trusting of what may come and less hesitant of what things are. I am deciding to slowly deconstruct my barrier between Love and Truth.  

The ability to let go, helpless at first, is an act of fearlessness and trust in the world around me.

Lost in a moment. Lost in life. Lost in love. Lost in faith. Lost in being.

Let go of the rock; let it flow with nature wherever it may please. It is not lost.

 --Mekedas