Lifelong Friendship and Support

This spring, my parents decided to finally finish building our bathroom. My parents have been living in our current house for over 19 years, but there has always been an unfinished room. When they were initially building the house, just a few years before I was born, they ran out of money, so they could not finish the second bathroom. I think finally putting this last piece of the house into place means a lot to my parents because it signifies that they have finally finished their project of building a family home. However, my parents are not as young as they once were, so building it takes tremendous effort from their part. Luckily, they get a lot of help.

Szilvi was the high school best friend of my mom, and I really adore how they managed to stay together throughout the years and be partners for each other. Our families often do programs or even travel around Europe together, which makes their connection even closer. It is just very good to see that my mom has such a great friend with whom they constantly support each other. I was reminded of their great friendship this spring, as my parents were always telling me on video chat that Szilvi was there again to help them with the work. By now, I could hardly count how many times I heard my mom say: “oh, Szilvi was here yesterday.”

I think their friendship perfectly resembles the idea of biological altruism. In nature, animals that live in herds often help and support each other. They hunt, travel, and sleep together, and then share the food to take care of the older and weaker animals. Similarly, birds and mammals help their “children” by bringing them food and teaching them how to find their own later on. These animal parents are driven by their natural instincts to bring up their “children,” and they act out of a sense of duty towards each other. Similarly, my mom and Szilvi always help and support each other out of mutual love and duty towards their friendship.

Zsuzsi is a friend of Szilvi with whom they used to be really close, but because of their different lifestyles, values, and personalities their friendship grew somewhat weaker, and Zsuzsi seems to be a bit envious about the situation. Whenever I see the three of them in the same room, I always get the feeling that my mom’s and Szilvi’s really good friendship makes her a bit sad. This sadness and envy that I sense in the atmosphere is not hostile or bad-meaning by any means. I just think that she would want to be a part of the closer friendship and that she is longing for that kind of relationship. Even though I am not sure if my speculations are correct, it makes me a bit sad whenever I see the three of them together.

--Tamas