I am a sponge. I absorb it all— the books, the movies, the flashing headlines, the Buzz Feed articles telling me what kind of cat I would be, the cultures I have passed through, the people that have reached me, the twelve years worth of teaching material, including kindergarten because there I learned that stars are rewarded to the nice and quiet. With this information, I unknowingly have built a shell. A shell of comfort and security. I think we all need one, to provide a basis of understanding life and all its quirks. Our stories, our experiences are embedded in this shell. We know what to expect. But this shell is numbing. It holds us down and numbs.
Read MoreWhen I woke up Sunday morning, I realized that it was noon. Half of my day gone, and the only thing I could think of was I need to finalize the college road trip, I need to send out that camp email, I need to finish the Gandhi reading, I need to choose a book to bring with me. I need I need I need. After school got out Thursday, June 6, senior fall just hit me hard. The upcoming school year has already haunted my summer from being a time of leisure to a time of getting ahead. On top of the “I needs,” I also have the “I still needs.” I still need to study for the SATs, I still, to my dismay, need to finalize the college road trip, I still need to ask my college counselor scholarship questions, I still need to start training for field hockey season. The list goes on and on, and that has been the mental state of my brain for the past 10 days. The incomplete list distracts me, and it’s probably one of the reasons why I had a hard time falling asleep on the plane ride. While it seems like I’m leaving it all behind, in reality it has just caused me anxiety.
Read MoreI feel the heat surging through my body, culminating at my forehead and banging against the walls of my skull. From behind the speakers, comes the reassuring voice of a lady whose words, however, hit me like nails drilling a wall. I feel stressed as I’m unable to comprehend any of the messages conveyed to me. Arabic. I wish I’d known some Arabic so that I would know exactly what each announcement was about. Word for word. Beyond a general framework of assumptions. Security, emergency exits, some more exits, cabin pressure. Take off. Terms that I’m familiar with due to frequent international travelling. And there comes the turbulent air spaces. Oh never mind, it’s false alarm.
Read MoreI am at a stage in my life in which I am preparing to make many transitions: the transition from high school to college, the transition from childhood to (legal) adulthood, and many more. At this point, I am feeling a bit confused as to which direction I want my life to take as I move through these transitions. I see an endpoint that I want myself to reach, but I don’t yet know the steps I need to take to get there. I hope my experiences during these next three weeks will provide some guidance to which paths I should choose to take as I make these important transitions.
Read MoreWhere Am I?
I am at a place and time where I am building up my identity from near scratch. Everyday I absorb external stimuli, and the thoughts that reverberate in my mind in response build and shape my identity. Perhaps I will find another couple blocks and some new plaster during my journey in India.
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