for the best

As I am traveling to India, many emotions are taking me over. I am excited, but also a little bit scared of the unknown. What exactly is waiting for me in India? How am I going to feel during and after the trip? I am a little nervous of leaving everything behind, leaving the current Isabella behind. As far as I have been told and read, what I will experience in India will be very different from everything I have dealt with back in Italy or at Andover. In other words, I am quite nervous to see how I will change throughout this trip. Will I be a happier or sadder person? How are my family and friends going to feel about this change?

I am also leaving my family and home behind. My family has been breaking up in these past two years. It started with my siblings leaving last year for Andover and me joining them this year. This separation continues as my sister is setting off to college in the fall. In this exact moment, my whole family is back in Italy, just like old times, but I am not there to cherish the moment. And my parents, who I don’t see very often but am really close with, won’t fail to remind me how I am “leaving” them. For instance, it was very hard to convince them to let me go on this trip and until today they kept on asking me if I wanted to join them back home so that we could spend time together. Home. I miss home. I haven’t been in Italy for almost a year, and I now can’t let go of my will to go back. I keep on having flashbacks of my long walks to school with my friends, of how the sun gently kissed my skin in the spring, and of course, how much I miss my bed; the bed I have slept in for almost my whole life.

My feelings that I have pointed out above might make it seem as if I am not looking forward to this trip and that I’d rather be somewhere else, but the truth is that they actually make the trip a lot more exciting. Yes, the thought of Isabella changing scares me a little bit, but I know that the change will be for the best. I am not perfect, and never will be, but I believe that this trip will bring me one step closer to my ideal character. It will make me more aware of the different situations around the world and hopefully give me ideas on how I can try to make the world a better place for everyone. Moreover, it was expected for my parents to want me to spend the summer with them. Why wouldn’t they want? I’m their little girl and I imagine it’s a little hard for them to send me, who I am only 15, to a place they have never been. I actually think they are a little jealous of me, especially my dad. I am going to INDIA!