Bonds of Love

I try to see myself in people. Maybe just a part not a whole.  I search out for the similar things we might have. Maybe a smile that could resemble mine, a facial expression or a shared emotion. All of this creates a connection. A lot of the times this connection happens to be flitting and momentary. Wrapped around a vain web of lies that interlace until they can’t find more thread. Sometimes, though, this connection becomes the complete opposite. The tie becomes solid and founded on a strong steel infrastructure that could withhold an entire building.

            Connections transform the way we see and feel the world that surrounds us. When we have strong connection with someone we love, we idolize and keep on fantasizing about the world. Everything looks like a clear piece of glass: translucent and symmetrical. At the moment, everything makes sense even when it shouldn’t.  However, there are some other types of connections that we would like to avoid, but we can’t. These connections can be strong too, but instead of being fed by light, they are fed by the absence of it: a pure black pitch darkness that lives within us and them. Connections like this tend to be toxic and most of the time hard to pull away from. It is when we truly see that there is not enough light to distinguish even the slightestreflection of ourselves in the other person.

            Yet, every connection I made is different from the other and the whole thing depends on the knot. How the knot is tied, what is it made out of and for how long it will stay on. The knot I have with my Abuelo is a completely different knot than the one I have with my best friend. The knot is the key to it all. A knot begins to form when you suddenly realize how much do you actually care about the person. It can go on forever, forming an never-ending chain of compassion and affection. Those are the best kind. You know that with this person there is no awkwardness or feeling of unease. Establishing this type of knot and keeping the connection strong has taken me some time, as I don’t place my trust on people so easily. The sole purpose of the knot is to make the reflection clearer and hold it in place.

            I’ve had connections even before I was born. I was connected to my mother from her belly. I was connected to my family, as I heard a fainted crowd of voices and I was also connected to my country and culture. All of these connections were meant to happen and end up transforming into bonds made out of light that glimmer.  Forming bonds of love is one of the visions I have for my life. Bonds that can keep on reflection the warmth in everyone else’s heart.